The Chance to be Courageous.

I sat down this evening to put the finishing touches on my application for my desired DTS in Kenya.  For those of you who are not familiar with a DTS, it stands for Discipleship Training School..  This program is run by an organization YWAM (Youth with a Mission).  As soon as I began to flip through the pages of the application, questions began racing through my mind, questions like "Am I actually ready for this?"  "Could I handle this?"  "I'm to young to even make a difference!"  "Can I leave the comfort of America for an entire six months?" "What if I get Malaria?"  "Is this really what God wants for me?" And it ended with "Maybe I should just go to college and forget this."   
After working myself up for about fifteen minutes, I put the application down and started searching college websites.  At this point I was completely stressed out, worried and doubting not only myself, but God.  After about 30 minutes of researching colleges, I shut the computer screen and began to pray. I mainly prayed for courage.  The Lord then put the verse 2 Timmothy 1:7 on my heart.  So I flipped through my bible and read it.  "For God did not give us a spirit a timidity, but a spirit of power, love, and self-discipline." 2 Tim 1:7 
I then began to see that I let Satin get a foothold in my heart, he put doubting thoughts in my head, and the saddest part was that I let him.  I let him manipulate my thoughts.  After praying some more, I started picking up my room a little bit, and found a sticky note my mom had written out for me a week or so back, and on it was written 2 Timmothy 1:7.

I then began to think more about this verse, how He gives us a spirit of power, love and self discipline.  And I also for some reason began to question the way that I pray.  I was praying for courage, but realized that I should be praying to the Lord for the chance to be courageous!  And if you think about it, he gives us that chance every single day, its up to us if we embrace it or not. He is giving me that chance to go to Kenya, the chance to leave everything I know behind to serve him on the mission field. It is his plan for me, and of that I am sure.  However, he isn't forcing me to do anything.  

He is giving me the chance to be courageous in his name.