Stubbornness is officially not an option anymore.

It takes no time at all for me to shut down and close my heart when I hear words that I don't wish to hear.  It takes me a matter of seconds to push everything else out of the way in order for me to achieve what I feel is right.  Yesterday I finally accepted the plain and simple fact.  This is not ok.  The past few months I have opened my heart up more than I ever thought possible.  I thought this was enough.  Again, I was wrong.  I have been seeking Gods guidance, but at the same time, I am blocking out the unwanted advice.  I do not just have this battle with God, but with other people.  I have had many experiences where I have damaged my relationships with others because I am not willing to listen and take their advice, even when I ask for it, and even when I know they are right. 
The fact that I struggled with this situation had never really occurred to me.  It was something I always pushed out and refused to address, thinking that I was better off on my own.  Wrong again.  In Scotland, one of the many valuable things I learned is that I am not in this alone.  None of us are.  We are all a part of the body of Christ.  We are called to be his hands and feet.  And how is this possible alone?  Its not. Not at all.  During the Scotland trip I began to put my stubbornness aside (very very very slowly....)  and began to open up and share my heart with my team.  And for a while, I was headed in a good direction.  But when I got back home, I turned around and started walking the other way. 
During my devotional yesterday I began praying for God to show me anything he had to teach me. Anything at all!  After sitting in silence for a while, I finally opened my bible.  It flipped right open to

Hosea 4:16
"The Israelites are stubborn, like a stubborn heifer. How then can the LORD pasture them like lambs in a meadow? " 
At first this confused me, I was not really sure what to think, so I put my finger in a random page, flipped and tried again.
Isaiah 46:12"Listen to me, you stubborn-hearted, you who are far from righteousness."
At this point, I began to understand.  And I asked God what he wanted me to do about it.

1 Peter 5:6

"Humble yourselves, therefore, under the mighty hand of God so that at the proper time he may exalt you."

Oh Great.... were my initial thoughts.  So I prayed some more, I prayed for him to give my the chance to me flexible, to accept things other people are telling me, and mostly, to accept what he is telling me.