Taking A Different Path.

This past month has been a huge step for me.  I am finally fully re-entering my reality after the Scotland Mission Trip.  I have been praying a lot recently, for God to strengthen my weaknesses and for him to use my strengths.  I have been praying this for about three weeks now, causing the past three weeks to be one of the most challenging and emotionally difficult weeks of my life.  None the less, they have been amazing weeks.  Through this time period, I also prayed for guidance and direction.  My heart was yearning for Africa.  He however, had other plans.  As I prayed for guidance I suddenly felt like I was moving in the wrong direction.  So I continued to pray, and before I knew it, a college had fallen into my lap from out of know where.  I was upset.  I knew what I was being told and I did not like it, at all.  So I began to pray again and found myself sitting there arguing with God. (Never a good thing to do, He is always right in the end...)  I asked him why I had a caution in my heart about Africa, he had put the passion to go to Africa in my heart!  And now he was pulling me somewhere else!  He awnsered "If I told you to get on a plane to Africa this very moment, leaving everything behind, would you?"  "Yes!"  I answered!  "Are you willing to sacrifice your team to me?"  "Huh?"  I questioned.  I even sat there and thought about it.  What does he mean by sacrifice and what does he mean by team? So I asked him.  "That's not what I asked you."  "I need a Yes."  "If I'm asking you a question, there needs to be no hesitation.  You answered yes to me when it was something you wanted, and you hesitated and asked questions when it was something you didn't want. Therefore, you are not ready for Africa, not yet."  I sat there in complete silence for at least twenty minutes.  Wow. 
So, for the time being, I am still in constant prayer over college and over the path God wants me to take. And its funny how before I had no desire for college, and now that I have opened myself up to him and begun to listen, he has made it the desire of my heart to peruse my missions degree.